Enfemmeis an organisation in Barcelonathat offers a safe space for cross-dressers, transvestites and trans women. It's unique in that it's mostly focused on cross-dressers, although anyoneis welcome to stop by for helporadvice, which stretches from make-up classes and "walking in heels" workshops, to psychological support offered in conjunction withTransit –a Catalan public health service fortrans people –andcounselling sessions for married couples.
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Writers and photographersDavid Simón Martret and Blanca Galindo started stopping by Enfemme inthe summer of2016to document the people and relationships within the organisation. They went to the weekly Thursday meetings and toevents held outside the safety of the organisation's headquarters– like luncheson thebeach, theannualChristmas dinner and the 10th anniversary party.There, they metcross-dressing peoplefrom across the gender identity spectrum, andspoke to some of themabout wearing women's clothes for the first time, andtheir lives ever since.
REBECCA, 31
"The first time I felt the need to uncover Rebecca was when I was at a friend's house –I tried on one of her dresses and felt butterflies in my stomach.I would love to be her all the time, but Ionly get to be heron weekends. It's impossible for me to be her at work or when I'm with family.Rebecca makes me happy, like I'm in a cloud. Only four ofmy closestfriends know herand they accept me as I am."I try to live inthis duality the best wayI can.I have been coming to Emfemme since the summer of 2016, to find stability and respect from all the girls here.My temperament is sweeter when I see myself as a girl –I feel I can open myself up more to other people. I feel I can be myself."
MONICA, 56
"I lived with this secret for years, but when I was 37 I couldn't hide it from my partner and the mother of my children any longer. I'm still living a dual life, which isn't fun, but you learn to live it. A lot of people around me know that Monica is the real me, and I care less and less what people think.I don't get to be her all the time, but I never lose sight of who I actually am,regardless of what I'm wearing.
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"My social circle is very small outside of Enfemme. My family knows, understands and accepts it, and I have a couple of good old friends who are completely on board. One friend especially doesn't care at all what I'm wearing –she always talks to me woman to woman."It's important for me to meet people in the same position togo through life with. When I firstcame here, I needed help, and the people at Enfemme gave it to me. Now, my own experience can help other people.I would like society to be truly tolerant and non-binary, so that people who feel like I do –or who simply divert from the norm –don't have to suffer to be who they are."
MALENA, 48
Malena (left) with friend Arlette
"Cross-dressing keeps me sane. My female part is always with me, even when I dress like a man. I startedcross-dressing in 2006,in the privacy of my own home, while having a Martini. At first justfrom the waist down –stockings, garter belt, heels, panties. I looked atmyself in the mirror and felt very sexy. The make-up came later."I remember how,when I was cross-dressing at home, I would sometimes come out on thebalcony late at nightand feel sofree because I could feel the air on my skin.When someone told me about EnfemmeI called the organisation and immediately knew we were speaking the same language.
"Living a dual life fits meperfectly – I love that there's a woman inside me whoemerges occasionally. Being her and bringing her out with these clothesmakes me feelfree andeuphoric. When I walk in heelsI'mtransported into thisfantasy world where everything is possible and no one criticises you for your choices.
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"I don't want to decide–I am very clear about my sexuality.I'm across-dresser, I'm not interested in hormone therapy, surgery or getting breasts.I just happen to find pleasure in changing from time to time. Outside of Enfemme, people around me rarely understand that I just likebeing sexy and feminine. I hope someday everybody can live the way they want without hurting each other. I hope we'll stop labelling people as much as we're doing now."
PAULA
"I would never change the way I am –I like living in this orderly chaos. When I was a child, I was completelycomfortable with the identity assigned to my gender.It wasn't until I was older that I first started getting in touch withmy female side. At first, I only did it whenit was socially acceptable, like atcostume parties.When I was about 24I realised I needed to embrace the ambiguity of my gender."I'm a boy most of the time – atmy workplace, with family, with some friends.I'm not uncomfortable;there are even moments whenPaula does not exist in me. But when I havetime to think, Paula appears indifferent forms.Paula gives me knowledge about myself, and I have experiences that wouldn't have occurred otherwise. Through Paula, I've seen more vulnerable sides of people, which has led me to having more sincere friendships. There are people who have only seen me as a girl, others who have seen both sides and others whoonly know my male part. It's really staggering how differently people respond to youjust because of your clothing;it's weird howacertain dress code is assigned to a certain gender.
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"Within my family, only my brother knows. I can talk normally about it with him, but it would be too painfulto see the look of disappointment in my mother's or my friends' eyes if they knew. It's a very tough personal struggle for me.Gender rolesarea social construct that assigns behaviouralroles and rules to people. But what does it mean to be male or female?Institutionslike Enfemme are so important;we need more of them in Spain – there are still toomany people hiding justbecause they don't have the toolsto express themselves freely."Follow Favid Simón Martret and Blanca Galindo at The Leafhopper Project.Scroll down formore pictures.
Riccardo
Joana and Pepa
Sofia
Enfemme's 10th anniversary party
Monica playing keyboardwith The Wild Sisters
Aurora
Enfemme's 10th anniversary party
Bárbara
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